Who Buys Sex? It’s Not Real Men

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Human trafficking is a foul crime against other human beings. Exploiting another person for personal or commercial benefit under egregious circumstances is an evil that needs to be stopped, especially when it involves children.

Sex trafficking is a crime that involves the exploitation of someone for a commercial sex act through the use of force, fraud or coercion. A child under the age of 18 who is induced to perform a commercial sex act is automatically considered a victim of sex trafficking.

The International Labour Organization (ILO) estimated that two-thirds of the $150 billion human trafficking industry was dedicated to the commercial sex industry validating that sex indeed sells.

What fuels the demand for sex?

For one, there is no supply if there is no demand. And buyers are driven by their insatiable selfish desires which continuously feed the “bottomless demand” for sex in our society.

Wherever there is an adult sex industry, there is, unfortunately, also a demand for children. Especially in cities that promote and celebrate the consumerism of sex, like Las Vegas, the entertainment capital of the world.

Demand is driven by a number of interrelated factors, which include:

  • Sex Sells: This is evident with a growing multi-billion dollar adult sex industry, including pornography.
  • Society’s Sexualization of Youth: Our culture today is one that objectifies bodies and commodifies sex, which increases the normalization of it and desensitizes us into fighting back against it.
  • Media Influences: From television shows, movies and music to social media and even video games, the pervasive impact media has on our lives is undeniable. Kids these days cannot live without it. It may seem virtually impossible to escape its influential grip, but there is hope to do more with less and consume wisely.

Who are the buyers anyway?

There are two categories of sex buyers – the first time, getting your feet wet again type of offender and the serial repeat offender, who have made it their lifestyle.

The first time/occasional sex buyer could be classified as sexually frustrated “nice guys,” but that’s not necessarily the case.

Men who buy sex (because they are the majority of buyers) have less empathy and are more sexually aggressive than men who don’t buy sex. 

According to a report co-authored by Melissa Farley and Neil Malamuth, sex buyers are very similar to sexually coercive men.

“Both groups tend to have a preference for impersonal sex, a fear of rejection by women, a history of having committed sexually aggressive acts and a hostile masculine self-identification. Those who buy sex, on average, have less empathy for women in prostitution and view them as intrinsically different from other women,” remarked Malamuth, a UCLA professor of communications studies and psychology.

According to Collective Shout, this is clear by some of the statements sex buyers have said about the women:

  • “It’s like having a cup of coffee – once you’re done with it, you throw it out.”
  • “Sorry, what do you mean NO. This is what I paid for.”
  • “There are no boundaries.” “You get to treat her for what she is…you won’t do stuff to your girlfriend that will make her lose her self esteem.”

These findings lean towards supporting the perspective that prostitution is more like sexual abuse rather than a job as popular opinion likes to tout. According to the Catholic Education Resource Center, women who were prostituted have described it as “paid rape.” And the sense of entitlement men have towards buying women for sex with no regard for the women they exploit is abhorrently apparent.

In addition, these men would rather invest in buying sex rather than investing in a real relationship. They don’t see anything wrong about paying women for sex. These sex buyers hold to these perspectives:

  • “Sex is a basic male need.”
  • “Paying for sex is normal and natural because the act dates back to thousands of years in all different cultures.”
  • “It’s reasonable and masculine.”
  • It’s a coming of age tradition.
  • “It supports poor women in third world countries where economic opportunities are few.”

It is clear by the statements mentioned and the many more that have not been included in this article due to their vulgar nature, that sex buyers are men who have a disdain and total disregard for women. They do not respect and regard women as their equal. 

sex buyer

On the contrary, they use their economic power to physically overpower, exert dominance and control to degrade and punish the women they seek to buy temporary pleasure from. 

Instead, these men regard the women (and girls) as objects to be used and disposed of. They are not human beings with feelings and dreams of a better life, but merely a body used for sex, a commodity to be bought and sold. As one sex buyer put it, “an organ to be rented out for ten minutes.” 

These sex offenders have no right to think it is a right to rent a woman’s body. Ever.

How to combat this?

This by no means is an exhaustive list, but it’s definitely a good start:

  • Educate Boys + Young Men: Begin early. The prevalence of easily accessible pornography exposes even very young children to a realm that strips away their innocence, leaving lasting impacts on their impressionable minds, distorting their perceptions of relationships. Instead, it’s crucial to instill in boys and young men the values of genuine affection and enduring partnerships founded on mutual respect for girls and women. Providing safe spaces where they can engage in open, honest conversations about sex, sexuality, and the essence of masculinity is essential.
  • Create a Hostile Environment for Sex Trafficking: Implement legislation designed to hinder the crime of sex trafficking. Enhance public awareness through extensive campaigns that challenge the norms around purchasing sex, targeting venues such as high schools, community centers, athletic clubs, and military bases. It is essential to secure the support of key community institutions and agencies to ensure effectiveness. Additionally, providing government-funded training for law enforcement, prosecutors, and judges on the enforcement of these laws is critical.

By taking these steps together, we can dismantle the systems that enable sex trafficking and create a culture where both men and women’s dignity and rights are valued and upheld. This united effort can eradicate this horrific crime and build a safer, more respectful future for all.

References: Prior, A and E Peled. “Identity Construction of Men Who Pay Women for Sex: A Qualitative Meta-Synthesis,” Journal of Sex Research (2021)

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